Rose Doll
by Howl3
Summary: Saki isn't as dead as everyone thinks he is, and both Muraki and Hisoka find themselves stuck together when Saki sends them to Makai. Will they finally come to an understanding, when all they have is each other?
1. Chapter 1

Rose Doll

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei.

Warnings: Hisoka mental abuse, and Muraki being Muraki.

_**Tossed away like a ragged doll,**_

_**These strings that bind me.**_

_**Make me dance, make me hurt, make me scream,**_

_**behind these glass eyes of mine.**_

_**Shattered and tattered as you twist and turn me,**_

_**Ever to your will I shall be,**_

_**My angel master that breaks and binds me.**_

_**Within sleep you come, strings so sharp it hurts, bleeding me dry yet never dying,**_

_**As you won't allow me to.**_

_**Your cruel and gentle touch, such sweetness that falls from passionate lips,**_

_**Deceives me so entirely, as I give and allow you to pull my strings.**_

_**Because I'm your doll. Your pretty little puppet that bleeds when you want me to, that screams when you ask me to, that cries when you plead me to.**_

_**I cannot escape, this wretched fate, no one to save me from this hell, because I'm nothing, but a priceless doll.**_

Chapter 1

It didn't matter that he was dead, didn't matter what he had been through, that he had seen things normal people shouldn't have to deal with. How he hated that, not knowing anything. Oh, but he knew that they knew, they always did, and they never thought to inform him.

Maybe he was just that unimportant in the scheme of things because there was always something going on, always something! And it made him so angry because they were all nothing but a bunch of string less puppets that danced to someone else's tune. He smiled bitterly. But he should be used to that shouldn't he, he was only a puppet after all, a tarnished, broken doll that could not fight the strings pulled so tightly over his cursed body. Nothing but a stupid, childish little doll.

Stupid to think that anything would change after Kyoto, stupid to think that , that stupid fool of a partner would trust him. Stupid to think that they would all trust him. His lips trembled and he bit them harshly in retaliation. Was he that desperate to fit in?

He slowed in his hurried rush, hair blowing into his eyes and obscuring his tear stained face. Perhaps, that was the case, because they were the only ones that cared, the only ones who treated him like he was one of their own. Was he foolish for getting so angry at the secrecy? No, he couldn't have been.

It was obvious that they all knew something and was hiding it from him. Even Tsuzuki…

"You idiot….you stupid idiot. How could you…" He trailed off and once again pumped his legs because he wanted to get away, had to get away from it. Yes, even Hisoka could admit to himself that he was running away, but now was not the time to care.

Legs burning in exhaustion and his chest heaving with the effort to breath, the boy finally stopped and glanced up to take in his surroundings. He was in the park, right where Tsuzuki and he had finally accepted each other as partners.

His mouth twisted into a humorless smile. Why was he not surprised? He stumbled forward, resting his hands on the railing and looked out just as he did so long ago, and it felt like it had been decades.

Though he was sure that he wouldn't forget pulling out a gun on his new partner because he had thought he was a vampire. The memory of those startle amethyst eyes made his smile just a little more genuine.

He shook his head to dispel those thoughts and turned, deciding that going back to Meifu would be the best thing, least Tsuzuki be looking for him. He couldn't be away from that idiot for more than two hours before he came looking for him. It was a flattering, but annoying concept.

His eyes glanced up from the ground and he froze, staring right into a pair of mismatched eyes of blue and silver. A slow smile spread across those pale lips, a pleasant expression for someone who didn't know what this man was. But to Hisoka, that smile meant everything to him, because that was the smile that killed him.

……………

He was scared of this man, but never so frightened as of now, with those eyes trained solely on him with focused intensity, the eyes of a man that knew when he was in control, and loving every second of it. And Hisoka too knew who was in control, who would always be in control, and the fear that crippled him could not be hidden from such knowledge.

Those eyes finally looked away to glance around him in a slow, knowful way that sent chills down the boys insides before settling again on him.

"I expected Tsuzuki-san to be with you." He said as if they talked everyday and were good, old friends. "Has he upset you?"

Hisoka's mouth pressed tightly together as if in defiance of speaking but that only served to make the doctor's smile widen in pleased pleasure. And that was what made Hisoka respond.

"That's none of your business." And it came our harsh and gritty and he couldn't stop from wincing as the doctor tilted his head, smile disappearing and lips pursing as he appeared to think it over.

Those eyes looked at him then, really looked at him, and the boy felt as if he was staring straight into his soul and maybe he was. "You've been crying." He said and Hisoka didn't know how he knew as he had made sure to wipe the tears away.

That smile appeared again, footsteps almost beating in time with Hisoka's heart as the doctor approached, eyes twinkling when Hisoka took just as many steps away. The boy's back hit the railing and he froze as he realized that Muraki was much closer than he had thought as pale hands gripped the railing on each side of him. His body bent backwards to keep away from the body that followed but had to stop in fear of leaning to far and falling over the railing.

He clenched his eyes shut as warmth surrounded him, hands that no longer gripped the railing but his body instead. Hot breath blew into his ears, sounding almost painfully loud in his panicked state. Lips pressed faintly against his ear lobe in a mocking caress.

"What could you have possibly done to make Tsuzuki-san so angry with you?" That soft, pleasant voice whispered, the boy in his arms gasping and shuddering as pale fingers teased an equally pale stomach. "Perhaps," That voice chuckled, "he is finally getting tired of you?"

"No-"

"Yes." That voice interrupted smoothly, arms tightening as the boy tried to struggle free. "You know its true Bouya. Such a troublesome burden you are."

"No!" Hisoka's voice came out in a high pitched gasp as he twisted and turned, but he just could not break free. Burning pain raced throughout his body and he realized with horror that the curse was burning vividly across his skin in sweeping lines of blood red.

"Red always looked so good on you." Muraki smiled, a hand pulling Hisoka's face to look at him. How he loved to see those vibrant green eyes awash with so much pain, it looked so delicious on the boy.

"Let him go!"

Both turned their heads, one in amusement and the other in relief. Amethyst eyes practically sparked with anger, hands clenched and ready to do battle. Muraki released the boy in his grasp and smiled again in that knowing way of his as Hisoka went to Tsuzuki's side. The way the older shinigami almost seemed to push the boy behind him was deeply amusing.

"Good morning Tsuzuki-san. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I'm not in the mood to deal with you today Muraki!" He turned, grabbing Hisoka by the arm, but before he transported away he threw one last look over his shoulder. "I don't want to see you near Hisoka again." And they were gone.

How naïve of the shinigami to think he would actually abide by these rules. Besides, how could he not play with he favorite little doll?

……………

The silence was thick and tense, with barely suppressed words just waiting to spill out into the open. Tsuzuki wasn't looking at him. In fact, the man sat quietly at his desk with a blank look on his face as he concentrated on his paperwork. It unnerved Hisoka, this silence and the steady sound of pen on paper. Was his partner angry at him? It was usually the other way around and now that he was faced with this himself, he was reluctant to admit that it actually frightened him a bit.

But what right did Tsuzuki have to be mad at him? The idiot was the one hiding. Just the thought of it infuriated him. He opened his mouth to make known this fact when the door opened. Mouth closing, Hisoka set his expression and watched as Watari and Tatsumi entered their office. Their faces were serious, which looked strange on Watari's normally playful face. In fact, he could hardly feel the scientist's emotions. They were faint, like they were locked down but were to strong to be sealed away completely.

"Kurosaki-kun." Tatsumi's eyes were focused entirely on him, cold and unrelenting. It was a scary look to be faced with.

"Tatsumi-san."

"What you did today was unacceptable."

That was enough to shatter Hisoka's façade. "What I did?" He whispered in a harsh voice. "What exactly, did I do?"

Blue eyes regarded him through thin framed glasses perched on a regal nose. "Running away from work like that was-"

"Shut up!" The boy shouted, ignoring the shock of actually shouting at the secretary. "What right do you have to lecture me? If you'd all had just told me-"

"I don't believe that that is any of your concern." Tatsumi interjected coldly. Hisoka drew back as if hit, emerald eyes shimmering and then seeming to shut down.

"No, of course it's none of my business, it's never my business. And frankly, I'm tired of all that not my business shit!" His voice rose with an alarming crescendo. "It's my business just like everyone else around here! I have to deal with everyone's fucked up emotions, because no one will tell me! I'm sick of it! No one ever tells me anything, I never know anything! It's like I don't even matter, like I don't….." His voice cracked in a stunned whisper in realization as he completed his statement. "Belong." He couldn't deal with this. Without much care that he was running away again, he turned and left. He couldn't understand it. He just couldn't understand why things always ended up this way.

"Tsuzuki-"

"No Tatsumi. I have to go after him." He pulled on his trench coat, eyes pained. "We shouldn't have taken this out on him. It's not his fault. It's never his fault."

"I know." The secretary sighed, eyes soft in apology. "When you find him, can you-"

"I'll tell him everyone's sorry. You don't have to worry." He sent a small smile to his two friends before disappearing out of the door after his partner.

"We'll lose Bon if we keep this up." Watari petted the sadly cooing form of 003.

"I know." Tatsumi looked around the empty office. "And if we lose him, we lose Tsuzuki as well."

………….

Hisoka had never realized how fast Tsuzuki really was until he felt arms of silken steel wrap around him from behind. He stumbled, feet losing balance with the ground as he was jerked back. It only took him seconds to realize what was going on and he began to struggle.

"Let me go!"

"Hisoka-"

"Let me go you stupid son of a bitch!" Hisoka didn't start cursing until he was absolutely furious and hurt. It was a mixture that brought out the worse in the boy.

Tsuzuki turned his partner around and jerked him against his chest, wincing slightly as the small, pale hands beat against it. Those vibrant green eyes were alight in anger.

"Hisoka please-" He was cut off as the boy in question cocked back his fist and let it fly, punching the man sharply in the jaw. Even though it was painful, the older shinigami still refused to release his partner. The body stilled in his grasp suddenly, standing stock still. Green eyes had frozen over and it felt like the temperature had dropped a few degrees.

"Tsuzuki." That voice was cold and quiet. "Let.Go.Of.Me."

"No. I'm not letting you go to end up in Muraki's hands again." Those words were apparently the wrong thing to say because another punch landed on his jaw.

"At least he never lies to me!" The empath hissed. The world around them seemed to stop then as they gazed into each other's eyes, both realizing how stupid the whole thing was.

Hisoka sighed, closing his eyes tiredly. He no longer felt the need to struggle, and he was tired. Very tired. The day had been much to emotionally trying for his liking.

He buried his face into his partner's chest in a rare show of weakness, silently telling Tsuzuki that he was too tired to continue with the argument. A smile spread across the man's face. "Seems like I get to carry you to bed again." He said, sighing in fake exasperation.

"Shut up. Just….shut up." The boy's voice trailed off as he passed out. Tsuzuki easily swung him up into his arms. As he began his way towards Hisoka's home, he glanced down once to stare quietly and with a faint smile at his partner's young, relaxed face. If only the boy could look like that all the time. He shut his eyes at the thought.

"I'm sorry Hisoka. I'm so sorry."

………….

Green eyes opened in a long, lazy blink, realizing after a few moments of staring at the ceiling that he was in his own bed. "That idiot must have brought me here…" He sighed, forcing his still tired body out of the warmth of his bed. He walked out of his room, looking around for what had wakened him, and sighed as his gaze came to rest upon the twitching from of his partner on his couch.

"He's having a nightmare." He mumbled softly, sitting in the small space open bedsides his partner. It must have been Tsuzuki's emotions that had wakened him. He raised his hand, hesitating for only a moment before slipping his slender fingers into somewhat sweaty brown hair. He stroked the strands and whispered comforting words, watching blankly as his ministrations slowly worked, calming his fitful partner into a peaceful slumber.

He stared at his face for awhile, before looking at the white of his ceiling.

"Idiot."

……………

The next morning was pleasantly nice, as the sun seemed to have decided not to beam into Hisoka's face like it usually liked to. He turned and snuggled into his pillow, falling back into a light dose. Unfortunately, this was not to last as a battle cry echoed in his ears, snapping open his green eyes to stare at his wall in shocked confusion before a heavy body pounced on him, forcefully stealing his breath from his lungs and causing him to release a breathless, unmanly speak.

"Tsu.zu.ki!" He yelled, twisting and turning to unbalance the body on top of his.

"Get off you idiot!"

"No!" Was the childish reply.

"Tsuzuki, you're crushing me."

There was a moment of silence before, "Oh."

The body on top of his rolled off and Hisoka almost cried in relief, but that didn't stop him from rolling over and giving his troublesome partner a good whack upside the head.

"Ow!" The man whined as he pouted. The empath rolled his eyes. How old was this man again? Oh yeah, over ninety. With another heavy roll of his eyes, Hisoka got out of bed, ignoring the pouting man as he gathered up some fresh clothes.

"Don't bother me in the shower." He paused again before he entered his bathroom. "And stay out of my kitchen."

Tsuzuki sighed. That's just what he was about to do too.

Freshly dressed in a snug red sweater and black pants, teeth and hair brushed, and a clean face, Hisoka was in a pretty good mood. He cheerfully, which meant he wasn't scowling and had a little more pep in his step, went into his kitchen, gleefully ignoring the way his partner looked like a kicked puppy, with the way he was following after him.

Upon reaching his destination, the empath decided that coffee would be a good way to start breakfast. Tsuzuki sat down at the kitchen table, head set upon his hands and face content as he watched Hisoka move with graceful ease through his kitchen. It was always a favorite thing to watch for Tsuzuki, because not only did Hisoka cook the best food, but the boy was so interesting to watch.

The whole process of making breakfast was a strange ritual to the boy. He always started with coffee first before deciding what to cook and somehow what he cooked reflected what kind of mood he was in.

After the coffee was done, and only after that, did he turn on some music. It was mostly classical, and wasn't surprising at all because Tsuzuki couldn't see the boy listening to anything else. While the food was cooking, the empath would clean the dishes he no longer needed and any other thing he felt he had to while keeping a watchful eye over the food.

When it was done, he packed it onto plates and set the table in that girlish way only he did it, not that Tsuzuki would ever tell him that, least he get killed in the process.

"Sankyuu Hisoka." He chirped, stuffing the eggs into his mouth and swallowing with a pleased little sigh.

"Don't talk with your mouth full of food." The boy reprimanded. _Sometimes_, Tsuzuki thought, _Hisoka could be so catty_. The man froze as green orbs glared at him.

"I guess you heard that." He mumbled, waiting until Hisoka turned away to continue eating. It really sucked sometimes to have a partner that could read your mind. After breakfast, the two partners headed to work.

……………..

Hoping for a peaceful day of work was apparently not in his job description. Did shinigami ever go on strike? Or was he the only moron that considered actually doing such a thing? It's not like their jobs were like roses or anything. The boy made a face at the thought of the flower, which had brought him right back to Muraki.

And looking at the pictures of their new case, Hisoka had to wonder, if maybe, this had something to do with the doctor.

They were horrible really, with the way the bodies were shredded and twisted, blood splayed around like some demented painting. No, the boy realized with wide eyes, this wasn't Muraki's doing. The doctor might have been vicious with his victims, but he never shredded his victims like this. He liked to leave them like broken dolls, perfectly whole and splashed with blood so he could look at them and admire his work because that kind of perfection could only be attained by his hands.

How Hisoka knew this, he didn't know. He just did. So when the topic came up further along the briefing, he quite firmly shot it down, surprising everyone in the room, and refusing to explain why. How could he possibly explain how he knew without looking like a complete idiot? But Hisoka had been closer to Muraki than anyone else, had felt, had seen, what was inside the doctor's mind and heart, a darkness that froze his blood like ice and burned his heart with the sheer force of all the hate. So much hate and vengeance and yet, there was something else there that he hadn't been able to touch on.

Something so small and fragile, overshadowed by darkness, and locked so completely away like a small secret only the doctor knew. Did Muraki know that he saw it? Was that why the doctor seemed to take extra delight in tormenting him?

He cruelly crushed that line of thinking with a bitter laugh. Was he actually trying to humanize the man? That murdering, raping bastard.

"Hisoka?"

The empath paused, realizing that the expression on his face must have alarmed his partner. He turned away, expression turning cool as he looked absently at the people passing by.

"I'm fine."

Tsuzuki frowned, amethyst eyes glinting with some strange notion. "If you say so." And he sounded like he wanted to say otherwise, but that pleasant little smile came upon that face that said that he was trying to distract him from noticing. Hisoka, however, was not one to be fooled, though letting it go would be best for him, in the long run.

"Where are we staying?" He asked instead, because it was always Tsuzuki who knew, and it was always up to him to manage the money. Really, it was quite the balance, though the boy found it almost embarrassing how much more responsibility he took than his much older partner. But he wouldn't want it any other way.

"Um…" The man paused to think, eyes rolling to stare at the sky.

"You forgot!?!"

"No!" Was the childish reply. "I just can't think of it."

"Same thing you moron!" The empath seethed, eyes squeezing shut and his cheeks flushing a bright red on his pale skin in anger.

"Aaahh, Soka' don't be so mean." The man whined but yelped as a small fist pelted harshly against his head.

"Shut up, and don't call me that." Reigning in his anger and annoyance was somehow much harder than usual but he managed. "Give me the case file." He hissed through clenched teeth. His partner flinched, but did as he was told. Hisoka opened the large vanilla folder, making sure to keep it somewhat hidden from nosy people.

His eyes scanned the pages before he closed the folder and handed it back to Tsuzuki. The man wanted to ask where they were staying but he knew that Hisoka was annoyed enough. He just followed quietly along, flinching every time that green glare landed upon him for either walking to slow or to close.

When they arrived, Tsuzuki's attention was caught by how nice the place looked. It was modest, not being overly crowded or priced, with a nice building the color of fresh peach. Flowers of all kinds swung on long vines attached and stretched over the building. It was mostly quiet, with people enjoying a quiet afternoon rather than a loud one. All in all, it was perfect.

"It's…..nice." Hisoka said in surprise, green eyes softening in pleasure. Tsuzuki smiled at this. Perhaps the boy could afford to relax, even slightly here. It would make him much more tolerable if he did.

"Let's check in." He said, nudging the boy and walking down the nicely paved walkway. They entered the building, seeing that the inside looked even better than the outside. Tsuzuki waited patiently as Hisoka did all the talking, lips twitching in amusement at the way the desk clerk kept glancing between him and Hisoka in puzzlement. That's what happened when a sixteen year old was obviously more mature than his partner.

Their room was a nice size and had comfortable beds. This was tested as soon as they entered as Tsuzuki took a running leap onto one, bouncing and laughing as he did so.

Hisoka could only watch with amazed yet annoyed eyes. "Come on Hisoka, bounce with me!" The man shouted as he grabbed his partner and pulled him down.

"Ack! Tsuzuki let me go!"

Unfortunately, the bed was moving way too much for him to be able to move, so he could only lay there, yelling at his stupid partner and glaring as his body bounced up and down.

When he saw that his partner was not listening, the boy shut up and closed his eyes, relaxing and just let his body bounce. After awhile, it took him opening his eyes to realize that Tsuzuki was no longer jumping on the bed but staring at him instead, eyes soft and smile affectionate.

The boy could feel how content his partner was and the blush on his cheeks refused to stay away. Tsuzuki crawled over to him and laid his head upon the empath's chest, humming.

It sounded nice, the boy realized, his mouth closing from his instinctual reaction to yell at the close contact. The melody washed over him, soothing and pretty. He allowed Tsuzuki his position and closed his eyes again, unknowingly falling to sleep.

……………..

Green eyes blinked open as Hisoka stared into the darkness. The darkness, he realized, was Tsuzuki's chest. They had changed positions some how during their sleep, with him buried quite completely into Tsuzuki's body with the man's arms wrapped tightly around him.

He almost wanted to struggle, still not used to being touched like that. Touch was not a nice thing for Hisoka. It hurt actually to be touched, either because it was intended to harm or because of the shocking force of emotions. It hadn't taken long for his parent's touches to start to hurt, and then when Muraki….

Oh God and he wanted so badly to struggle and he couldn't stop his body from squirming, but this was Tsuzuki. He knew that the man would never hurt him intentionally and Tsuzuki's touch didn't hurt, and he hadn't been held in such a long time.

Relaxing, he buried his face into his partner's chest and simply laid there because the moron wouldn't be getting up in a long time, and he didn't have the desire to wake him up just yet. And he wasn't sleepy yet either.

Falling asleep like that, when they should have been working on the case. He blamed it all on Tsuzuki.

…………………

"I think a demon is doing this." Amethyst eyes glanced up from the annoying glare of the compute screen to blink at the boy in front of him. After having a delicious breakfast, and good, warm tea, Hisoka was as relaxed as he had ever been, curled up against the headboard of the bed, papers strewn in organized places around him.

"Why do you say that?" It was pretty obvious really, what was causing all this, but the shinigami wanted to know what his little partner had on his mind.

"Well," he said, picking up a picture and studying it. "I'm not trying to say that humans can't do this, but this is different. This is…" the boy trailed off as he noticed a picture he had yet to look at. He reached out for it and picked it up.

It proved to be a mistake, as this picture still had spiritual residue. He was immediately sucked into the vision.

_Blood was everywhere, he was drowning in it. He struggled, mouth opening to cry out only to choke as warm, fresh blood rushed into it. He gagged and sputtered, still struggling. A hand grabbed his arm and pulled him roughly out, and that, was when the demon's emotions tore him apart._

"Hisoka! Hisoka!" He had never felt so frightened , not even with Muraki as he held his partner's limp body. The boy's eyes were large and blank, but somehow Tsuzuki just knew that the boy was afraid, could tell in the way those small, pale hands turned even whiter with the pressure they were exerting into gripping his shirt.

"Hisoka!" Even though the boy was silent, unable to express what kind of horror he was seeing and feeling, it was that silence that worried him, that let him know that something was dreadfully wrong.

He kept it locked tightly behind his shields, not wanting his partner to feel any excess emotions. He pulled him closer, cradling him, and buried his face against, wheat blonde hair. All he could do, was hold on.

He didn't know how long it had been, but when he felt the boy in his arms start to sob, he tightened his hold and rocked back and forth. It hurt, it always hurt when Hisoka was hurt, because this boy, this child, was the most important person to him, the only one who had stayed, who had seen his sins and wounds, and had healed them the best he could.

Hands pushed at him and he loosened his hold only to have arms wrap tightly around his neck and a head nudge firmly under his chin.

"Shhhh." He hushed at a particularly loud sob, eyes closing as he hummed. He just sat, and rocked, and hummed, because it was the only way he could help.

Hisoka stayed in his partner's arms for a long time, pride absent and fearful of leaving his safe prison. He never felt such evil before, not even Muraki felt like that. He shuddered, remembering how much it had hurt to feel such evil.

"Hisoka?" The boy shook his head but Tsuzuki would not take no for an answer. "No, I want to know what you saw."

"Tsuzuki-"

"Tell me."

It was rare for Tsuzuki to take such a demanding tone with him, and truthfully, it frightened him when he did. He sighed into his partner's neck, eyes staring at the smooth throat in front of him.

"I saw the demon." He began, stating the obvious and refusing to care. "H-He was so evil Tsuzuki. I would rather…" He swallowed, burying his face into that smooth throat. "I would rather Muraki." And that truly explained how fearful Hisoka was of the demon, to rather that man.

"I think we should relax for the rest of the day." He ignored the boy's protests. "You're not in any kind of shape to do any more research." As much as he wanted to say otherwise, he knew that his partner was right.

"Okay." He whispered, sounding like the child he should have been. Tsuzuki chuckled at it, thinking it adorable, and laid a soft kiss upon the boy's forehead. "Go lay down and I'll go get you some tea." That sounded like a wonderful idea.

He crawled off of Tsuzuki's lap, feeling slightly embarrassed about it, but to tired to care. He gathered up the case files and sat them back into the folder. He then settled under the covers on his bed, resting his puffy eyes and sighing at how good it felt to just, lay down and relax.

"I'll be right back." Tsuzuki said as he pulled on his coat. He opened the door but instead of leaving turned and looked at him with worried eyes.

"Don't worry about me idiot, just go. I'll still be here in the fifteen minutes it should take you." He waved his partner away and rolled his eyes after the door had close.

………….

"Thank you." Tsuzuki turned, tea pot in hand and froze at the figure he saw standing against one of the large windows in the front lobby, light bright and blinding.

Was that….Muraki?


	2. Chapter 2

Rose Doll

Warning: Muraki, Saki, rape attempt and Hisoka just having a really, bad day.

Chapter 2

"That idiot." Hisoka fumed as he stumped around, mind blazing in fury at his partner. "I tell him to ask the desk clerk for information, and what does he do? Goes out to lunch with her!"

He threw up his hands, looking much like a child throwing a tantrum. He turned the corner of the orchard behind the hotel, not caring that he was walking farther and farther away from what Tsuzuki considered safety. Who cared what Tsuzuki thought anyway he humped.

He collided with a body and would have fallen if it wasn't for the arms embracing his body. He looked up, eyes widening at the mismatched eyes of Muraki.

"You should watch where you're going Bouya." The man said. He seemed, distracted, with the way he looked around, voice not as concentrated as it usually was.

"Let go of me." Hisoka demanded but was only pulled closer and he was close to panicking when he sensed it, that horrible evil. His stomach turned and his head pounded as the presence drew closer.

"M-Muraki." He gasped and was faintly surprised when the man pulled him against his chest, one hand tilting up his chin so that he was looking up into his face. He looked, unusually serious, nothing to suggest that this was really Muraki, the one who always smiled as he played mind games with his victims.

"You have seen it." It wasn't a question but a statement and the boy knew that he was talking about the demon still approaching. He felt compelled to answer somehow.

"Yes." He whispered, wondering when his voice had started to sound so breathless.

"Tell me Doll." The doctor said, and it was said in an affectionate kind of way that would have baffled the boy if his head hadn't been spinning like one of those merry-go-rounds. "What do you sense?"

"Hate, vengeance, lust." The boy gasped, never realizing how he leaned against the doctor's chest. "Amusement, annoyance, curiosity, bloodlust, the desire to destroy." He mumbled, sensing so many things, and Enma, how many things did this thing feel?

His eyes, along with Muraki's looked and there it was, red eyes glinting as it watched them. It was tall, body strong and lithe with long arms and sharp talons and teeth, hair long and silver, fur as black as night.

It laughed, and it seemed to strike at something inside of Muraki because the doctor's face twisted from its expressionless façade, a snarl forming on normally smiling lips.

The demon tsked and finally spoke, its voice surprisingly smooth, compared to its body. "Still so expressive Kazutaka."

Muraki's eyes widened and it almost looked like the doctor would actually faint, but his expression did not match the strength of his grip as it tightened around the boy in his arms.

Hisoka flinched as Muraki's iron control of his emotions cracked, allowing emotions Hisoka had never felt before from him escape. It was that fragile little secret that the doctor had kept locked away.

"Saki." The doctor whispered and the last shield around Muraki's emotions gave away and the empath was treated to the man's horrid mind.

Muraki's complete attention was quickly swiped by the screaming, twisting boy in his arms, and realizing what was happening, slammed his shields up with a muttered curse, but it was already too late, his doll was now unconscious.

"Ah, your little doll seems broken." Came the mocking voice of his most hated enemy. His brother, Saki.

"I'll tell you what." The demon continued, ignoring the very hateful look he received in return. "Since I like you so much, I'll let you and your little doll, see my humble adobe, and please enjoy, it's quite the treat."

Muraki's eyes widened but there was nothing he could do as his vision went black. But he could have sworn that he had heard Tsuzuki's voice.

………………..

Upon waking, the first thing Muraki noticed were the large trees blocking most of the sunlight. He slowly sat up, taking notice of the boy in his lap. They were in some kind of forest, and they had a cave a little ways away. At least Saki cared enough to give them shelter. The doctor sneered at the thought.

Getting to the cave was no trouble. His doll had never been a big person, and he never would get any heavier either. Why he cared enough to bring the boy, he didn't know. It was getting colder the darker it got, he had on his coat but his doll didn't. He settled the boy against one wall of the cave and stood, leaving without a second glance. He needed to know just how bad their situation was.

…………..

He seemed to be sleeping a lot lately, he realized, as he opened his eyes. It was cold, so cold that his body jerked and shivered, and all he could do was curl up, teeth chattering. Confusion swirled around his mind as he stared at the dark walls of what looked to be a cave. Where was he? What had happened? The last thing he remembered was….his breath hitched as panic settled and he was about to do something, what, he didn't know, when a soft voice cut through the deathly silence of the cave.

"Come here Bouya." The boy's body tightened around himself as his head snapped around to look with wide eyes at the wall directly across from him.

Muraki sat, body leaned against it, eyes closed and face relaxed. Hisoka stared at the man for a long time as it slowly became apparent that he was alone with Muraki.

"Come here Bouya." The man said again, but this time a tinge of annoyance colored his tone and Hisoka could feel it too, the soft echo of madness held back only by his anger. It frightened him, causing him to edge even farther against the wall.

Muraki's eyes snapped open, glinting with barely suppressed fury to glare icily in his direction.

"I said to get over here doll, and I won't tell you again." He hissed and Hisoka barely suppressed a whimper, before he slowly edged forward, forcing his tired body across the stone floor. When he got within reaching distance, a white clad arm flung out and snatched him up and he couldn't stop the startled cry that escaped his lips as he was pulled snugly against Muraki's side.

He sat there, terrified out of his mind, but he couldn't help but notice how warm the doctor was. It almost seemed as if he cared, but Hisoka knew that that wasn't the case, it was just necessary.

He wished that Tsuzuki was there, that he was the warmth he was so closely pressed against. His poor partner must be crawling up the walls with worry.

After awhile, it was quite obvious that the doctor was asleep, and the boy could not resist the urge to look up at him. Muraki looked innocent. His face was pale in the small shimmering light of the moon that filtered into the cave, seeming to glow, and slack.

How could he look so pure, how could he be so untouched in sleep from the horrors of his actions during the day? Why…he slowly reached forward, driven by a curiosity he never had known he held for the doctor and touched that pale face, amazed at how soft it was. Was this, what Oriya saw in Muraki? This one, tiny little shred of innocence, the only innocence this man could ever possess?

His fingers seemed to hold a mind of their own as they traveled, touching cheeks and jaw and forehead, searching for something…Muraki was awake. So intent in his search, he had not noticed those mismatched eyes open.

His fingers paused over their position on the doctor's jaw, green eyes widening in horror. Muraki didn't move, didn't speak, only looked at him with calm eyes. They seemed strange to him, somehow, different than they usually were. They stared at each other for a long time before those eyes closed and the doctor's head slumped back in slumber.

Hisoka numbly withdrew his hand, staring at his fingers. Why had he done that….why had he felt like doing that? Hisoka did not sleep that night.

…………

There was nothing familiar. Were they even anywhere near Nagasaki? Hisoka stood, staring blankly around him, feeling small, exposed, feeling lost and alone. But he wasn't alone, he thought as he turned to look behind him. Muraki had found, much to Hisoka's bafflement, a stream or river somewhere, and had caught them some fish.

It smelled good, though he wondered what the man was supposed to be using to add flavor. He turned away and looked up, spotting a great trail of smoke, then looked back and saw the little puffs of smoke from the cooking fish. He debated on whether or not he should mention it to Muraki. His common sense won out over his personal desire and he cleared his throat nervously.

"M-Muraki…uh…" What the hell had happened to his vocabulary? He heard the rustling of clothes and the soft thuds of footsteps. He stood carefully still, biting his lip as he felt the man behind him.

"What is it bouya?" He finally gathered his courage and turned. "There must be people over in that direction." He pointed, watching as the man frowned, eyes narrowing in thought.

"That must be where Saki is." He murmured.

"Who's Saki?" Everything seemed to go real silent and he knew then, that he had asked the wrong question.

Those eyes blazed in his direction, burning with something dark. He had no time to do anything but cry out in pain as he was viciously backhanded, sending him crashing onto the ground with painful force.

He laid there, tears stinging his eyes along with his cheek and jaw, mind swirling with the emotions that one touch had installed into his body.

A hand reached down and lifted him up, the boy flinching as it did so. Once on his feet, he looked up hesitantly and was surprised at the very slight apologetic look on the doctor's face. Muraki gave him a small push in the direction of the still cooking fish. "Eat." He ordered softly and Hisoka took this time to get as far away from the doctor as he could.

As he took a small bite out of the surprisingly tasty fish speared on a stick, he wondered about the strange look on Muraki's face. The doctor couldn't have been sorry, had never been before when he hurt him. There was something about this situation that was bugging the usually calm doctor.

And it all had to do with Saki….the boy paused, suddenly remembering what the doctor had called the demon, and the feelings that had flooded him. What was Saki's importance? What was so special about him, that Muraki would get so emotional over him?

Sighing, the boy glanced down at his fish, slightly amused at the tiny bites that barely pierced its flesh. He had never eaten much, especially after being locked up in the cellar and after falling sick. And even in death he still couldn't. And Tsuzuki had always found it necessary to try to stuff him with food, which never worked. How he missed his partner…

He looked at his fish again, determining that he wasn't going to finish it and placed it down, uncaring that he was wasting perfectly good food. He stared into the small fire, lost in thought when he was once again jerked to his feet.

He froze, thinking that Muraki was angry about the wasted fish, which was really a silly thought, but he was panicking at the moment so it didn't matter how weird the thought was. Instead, the doctor pushed him and he was forced to grab onto a tree to keep himself from falling.

He steadied himself and turned, unable to keep the glare from his face. Muraki's hand caught his jaw and squeezed eyes hard and angry. The boy could not do anything but look into those eyes, memorized, but not in a good way.

The doctor's eyes wandered down his body and the boy shivered, hating that gaze that was so intent upon him. Finally, the man dropped his hand and turned away, and began walking in the direction of the cloud of smoke. "Come."

Hisoka hesitated but followed. He hated this man, but it was better than staying alone. Besides, disobeying the doctor in this kind of mood wasn't a good idea.

………….

Annoyance was one of many emotions he felt, and most of them were because of Saki. He took a quick glance behind him, where the boy walked a couple of feet away, not to close but not to far either. This action, and the sulking look on his doll's face made his lips lift very slightly in amusement.

Hisoka wondered how long it would take for him to be eaten if something decided to jump out at him. He could see nothing but trees and bushes, and plants, and it scared him, not to be able to fully watch his surroundings. He felt trapped in a world he was unfamiliar with surrounded and with his murderer right in front of him.

It was annoying in itself how annoying his life, and after life was. People always said that fate or destiny or whatever was a bitch, but Hisoka didn't believe in that. He wanted nothing better than to blame fate, but it was people that made life difficult, they made their own choices, walked their own paths, and generally made living for other people very difficult.

A sound to his left caught the boy's attention and he paused midstep, green eyes searching the foliage intently, and ears straining to hear any more noises. It was then he realized, how quiet everything was, not the silence when nothing was nearby, but the silence right before something bad happened.

He focused his attention on one particular bush, feeling something. It sort of felt like a strange kind of patience, something intent and anxious and ready to strike. Hisoka's eyes widened and it was his empathy, only his empathy that saved him from getting sliced open.

He stumbled, falling roughly to the ground. He rolled, hurriedly trying to regain his feet, but the creature was fast, springing upon his body and sinking sharp teeth into his shoulder.

For all intents and purposes, that bite should not have hurt as much as it did. His very soul felt as if it were on fire, and it hurt so much that he could not even scream. His mind cleared instead of clouding, like normal and he felt everything, how his soul quivered and then seemed to recede. And then the creature was off of him and he knew it was because of Muraki but he couldn't focus and he hurt so much.

Muraki glanced blankly at the dead demon on the ground, staring at it for a long time before turning his attention to his doll. He picked the boy up and looked over him. The boy's already pale skin was deathly pale with a sickly tinge of grey.

His eyes were closed and his chest heaved heavily as he gasped painfully. The doctor frowned. The wound on the boy's shoulder was not bleeding. He could see the deep puncture wounds but no blood flowed from them, and it wasn't healing.

His eyes widened, the narrowed as he looked at the demon's corpse again. It wasn't a normal demon, not the kind that liked to eat human or even demon flesh, but a spirit demon, that attacked the spirit and soul, and shinigami were nothing but souls, taking a human form. To have even a little of their souls sucked up like that…

There was nothing he could do, but wait to see if the boy's shinigami powers would kick in and try to repair the damage. He stared down at the boy in his arms and closed his eyes.

He was awake. He could see, but he could not move, or even stop himself from gasping because it seemed so hard to get air into his aching body. He knew that Muraki was carrying him, could feel the doctor's chest against his cheek and the calm, almost fluid feelings.

There was no darkness, no anger, nothing but calm and it felt so good against his jilted mind. He wanted to react, wanted to protest because he didn't want to be near this man, especially this close, held and cradled against the doctor's chest as if treasured, but he could not, could not even get anything but gasps of pain out of his mouth.

…………….

When he awoke, he was not in Muraki's arms but in a bed. He blinked in bewilderment and tried to move. He was pleasantly surprised when he could lift his arms, just barely.

"Oh, isn't he adorable!" Hisoka's eyes roamed the room until he spotted the source of the voice. She was a demon, he could tell with how unnatural she looked with light purple skin and long, twisted horns stretching from her head. She had to be the most humanoid demon he had ever seen.

"He's very adorable." A deeper, harsher voice said and Hisoka locked eyes with it. The demon's skin was light blue with equally light eyes and hair. He was handsome in a way but something in his eyes frightened Hisoka. He felt something on the edges of his empathy but could not quite figure out what it was.

The female's emotions were easy to tell, light and happy with a hint of something dark, but the male's were undetectable.

Muraki swept in with the air of someone that owned whatever and wherever he was near and Hisoka could not help but feel relief, because he was not alone and defenseless.

The doctor stopped besides the bed and stared down at him before turning to look at their demon hosts. His eyes narrowed and his lips pursed.

Hisoka felt as the female became nervous, her hands twisting and sweat forming and then he felt determination take over.

"Oh, I have to show you how wonderful this place is!" She giggled and grabbed Muraki's hand twining their fingers together. Hisoka flinched at the large burst of annoyance from the man, but instead of showing it, the man simply smiled, hair falling beautifully over his slitted eyes.

"Ah, Misako-kun, I would love to see what places you have in mind." His voice was as smooth as silk and extremely charming to anyone that didn't know how he really was.

The female, however, didn't know this and giggled, her cheeks flushing and making the skin look horrible with red and purple clashing together.

Hisoka could only watch as the two left, the door sounding awfully loud as it closed behind them. His eyes immediately settled on the male demon, feeling wary beyond belief to find those eyes locked on him.

The feelings that had been so unreadable before became clear suddenly. Nothing but full, overwhelming lust.

The boy tried to scramble up as the demon approached but it proved futile as his body refused to budge. Clawed hands roughly pinned his wrists above his head, puncturing deep wounds into them. A pair of strong thighs straddled him, squeezing, causing him to flinch. Pale blue eyes raked hungrily over his body, a smile twisting those lips that was anything but nice.

"It's a shame your friend didn't realize what kind of demons we are." He said, tone light and teasing like this was a normal conversation. The boy swallowed thickly, body shaking in barely suppressed fear, eyes watering at the overwhelming feelings.

"We need sex to survive." The demon chirped suddenly, hands letting go of his wrists to trace little circles on his stomach. It didn't matter anyway, because he could hardly move to stop him.

"Get off!"

"You're not in any position to stop me yourself, so I really don't see why I should listen to you." And he drove this point home by jerking the covers off Hisoka's legs, spreading them and forcefully forcing himself between them. His mouth clamped over his, pushing past his lips with his tongue and gleefully explored.

He was losing his mind. He could feel it slipping way, retreating from such vile emotions, emotions that felt so similar from that night so long ago. He could see it, blood red moon shining down on sakura petals that fluttered and fell, soaring so slowly like a small, fragile hour glass whispering how your time was up.

He felt hips thrusting roughly against his and he slipped away even more because suddenly he wasn't in the bed with the demon, but pinned under the Sakura Tree, wrists twisted and tied by his own traitorous clothes, blood coating his skin and painting himself a beautiful portrait of a shattered doll, lying helplessly as his master put on his strings.

He remembered that first thrust that wrung a long, broken scream from his aching, burning throat, the way trickles of blood dripped down his legs, staining the rich earth and he remembered thinking at that very moment how he wished he could bleed more, so he could die just that much faster, but the curse took care of that. Those sensual blood red lines running jagged all over his body, proof of where he had been touched, how he had been touched.

"Well, well, you seem to be having fun." That voice almost as familiar as his own broke through everything and he was back in the bed, watching as the demon pulled away from him, and he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the look of fear on that face, and the feel of it settling deep within its chest.

Muraki smiled at him, holding out the female demon's head as if holding out a gift, eyes twinkling with delight.

"You know, if you wanted to trick me into leaving my doll here for you, you shouldn't have been so obvious about it." He shrugged as if to say 'your loss' and dropped the head, stepping over it and to the demon. His hand shot out, catching it by the neck and dragging it off of Hisoka.

The doctor was still smiling, but it was malicious and his eyes equally so. "But I suppose I must thank you. I've been wanting to kill something for so long now."

Hisoka watched with dull eyes, ears ringing with the pitch of the demon's screams. Blood splattered across the floor and walls and it was kind of pretty. He smiled slightly, tears slipping freely from his eyes. He really was losing his mind, if he thought the sight of Muraki splattered in blood, was beautiful.


	3. Chapter 3

Warnings: Muraki being Muraki with insane moments thrown in and Hisoka realizing just how much life sucked without Tsuzuki.

Chapter 3

He could sit up on his own now. He would have been proud of such an accomplishment if it wasn't such a stupid one. H pushed a stray lock of hair from his eyes, pausing as he caught sight of his wrist. The bruises and puncture wounds were still there. He stared at it for a long moment. He no longer knew what to feel about them. He had been about to get raped, yet again, and, he realized with a small bitter chuckle, that it was highly ironic how his first rapist had saved him from his second.

Muraki was sitting besides him when he came out of la la land and he stared at the man with curious, wide eyes. They were back in the woods after having left the strange village. The doctor's face was void of any emotion, yet Hisoka could sense that something was bothering him.

He debated on whether or not he cared enough to ask, but Muraki had saved him twice, so perhaps he should. Damn his inner Tsuzuki!

"Um." Saying it was a lot harder than thinking about saying it. He shifted nervously, eyes shifting to and away from the man.

"Hey, uh, Muraki." He paused, throat closing as those eyes turned to gaze at him. "I…um."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Are…are you okay?"

There was silence for a long time before a chuckle reached his ears and he opened one green eye to peer confusingly at the man.

"Are you trying to cheer me up bouya?" His eyes seemed to glint in amusement, lips stretching into a guanine, as far as he could tell, smile.

He felt the blush heat his cheeks and his other eyes popped open as he glared at the man. The doctor chuckled again and patted him on the head, ignoring his flinch, and even as the man turned away to once again stare into space, Hisoka felt that things were better.

……………..

If it wasn't for the fact that he was annoyed, then he would have been able to ignore the calm feelings. How did the doctor do it? Of course, Hisoka knew that the man could feel, it was quite obvious, with Saki around, but it was irritating how calm he could be. It was like rubbing salt on wounds, his own irritable emotions clashing almost violently.

He refused to let these feelings go, but he had to, if he didn't want to say something he shouldn't. He felt the calm heartbeat against his cheek, and he flinched, wondering how someone so evil could have one, but…he hadn't been that bad, and the Empath was ashamed and frightened, to know that he was starting to feel safe, in those arms, the same arms that had…his breath hitched and he froze as those eyes came to rest upon him, cold, calm.

They stared at each other for a long time, too long to be able to look that man straight in the eyes, an action he would not have been able to do a few days before.

"Are you afraid bouya?" A smile lined those lips and Hisoka whimpered.

"Muraki, don't, please." He knew not why he pleaded, but he did not want to see that smile, the one he had seen so many times, not with how the doctor was now.

That smile disappeared at the plea, and the calm feelings were suddenly in turmoil. The boy drew back, trying to get as far away as he could from those despairing feelings.

Arms tightened around his body and he was hard pressed not to scream at being held so tightly. "Muraki!" That seemed to wake the doctor up, but not with the reaction he hoped.

He could not do anything but gasp as he was pinned to a tree, dangling weakly. A hot mouth was instantly on his neck, sucking and biting roughly, trying to hurt him.

But even as he shook, mind reeling from the sudden change, something felt wrong. The emotions leaking from the doctor were dark, painful, hurting and the darker they got, the more painful the bites on his neck were.

Was this what Muraki did when he was hurting? Was this why he hurt people, to heal just a little of the hurt he was feeling?

Panting in both pain and exhaustion, Hisoka grunted as he tried to lift his arms. It was a fight, but he somehow managed to get them around Muraki's shoulders.

The reaction was instant, the doctor froze, then pulled away to look at him.

He felt the confusion but paid no heed to it as he leaned forward, eyes staring intensely into the doctor's.

"I can't take any more damage, my body can't handle it." His voice was quiet, but firm.

It was hard to look at him and talk to him as he did, but he had too, and he refused to let Muraki run over him.

A strange glint entered those eyes and the doctor smiled again, only this time it almost seemed real. He said nothing, only picked him up and continued on his way, ignoring the annoyed grumbles from his doll, no doubt from the fresh, aching bites on his neck.

He smiled at them. His doll was amusing, still weak but full of determination. And he strangely, for the first time, found himself respecting him for it.

…………….

The sun was setting when Muraki decided to set camp. Said camp was only settling under a thick, twisted tree, that did no good protecting against the cold that was quickly seizing their bodies.

There was no food to cook, but Hisoka did not feel hungry, only numb with cold and old pain.

To Muraki's credit, he did try the best he could to warm the boy, though his own body only tinged slightly at the cold. It still felt weird and unsettling to be held against Muraki, no matter how many times he had been in such a position for the last few days.

The doctor's shirt was soft and comfortable against his cheek. The white coat the man usually wore was wrapped securely around his body, and the calm feelings made him pleasantly drowsy, and he was left unable to keep from closing his eyes.

……………..

The sound of bushes rustling awakened him and he blinked slightly sleepy green eyes. It had gotten much darker, no doubt hours later from which he had first fallen asleep. The bushes rustled again, bringing him into full alert. He sat up carefully, mindful of whose lap he sat on and whose arms that currently trapped his body.

Hisoka looked up seeing that Muraki was still asleep, silver platinum hair falling over his one mechanical looking eye, enclosed behind one pale eyelid.

Sharp green eyes looked out into the darkness. His mind raced with solutions, his body tensing. He could have awoken Muraki, but the man had to be tired if he hadn't awaken already, but he knew that he wasn't strong enough to defend them if things came to such.

He watched the bushes for a long time, and once he saw the red eyes glaring out at him from the shadows he lifted his hands and placed them on Muraki's shoulders.

"Muraki!"

Mismatched eyes opened and Hisoka spoke to him from the side of his mouth, eyes still focused on the creature.

"There's something in the bushes over there."

He was settled onto the ground as Muraki stood, face looking as if he could care less about being attacked. Although his expression was blank, Hisoka could feel how tired he was, mind unfocused and jittery. The boy could not blame him.

Walking for days carrying someone while fighting occasional battles and without proper food and water was not something he could imagine doing.

The bushes rustled again and then there was nothing but confusion. He was rolling on the ground from being pushed, and even when he stopped, he could not see anything. He heard the roars, felt and heard the use of powerful magic, and yet his vision was black. He couldn't even tell if his eyes were open, and as he lifted his hand to touch around his face, he realized that his eyes were working just fine. It was the area around him that was dark. What kind of creature, could control shadows?

He suddenly thought of Tatsumi. Were the Shadow Master's powers anything like this? And if so, what exactly was the secretary? It was a particularly nasty thought, and also one that held no water.

He, along with everyone else in the Shokan Division had something not quite right about them, a group of misfits with dark pasts of pain and sorrow. It did not matter, because they were only shinigami because of their pasts.

A loud shriek exploded from his left, startling him to falling onto his side. He laid there, breaths coming out in shallow pants, unable to really move himself.

The shadows around him quivered as if a living thing, and then receded, the dim light of the moon once again lighting the night. Hisoka lifted his head the best he could, arms struggling to lift his admittingly small weight. A flash of silver and then Muraki was there, covered in blood the color of the deepest black, highlighting his pale face and hair.

The boy stared back at him, his mouth forming a disgusted scowl, a clear refusal to being touched with such filth. Muraki simply ignored him, settling a foot away from him and promptly falling asleep.

It was a bit unfair, and a small feeling of guilt began to churn unpleasantly in his stomach and he felt slightly sick from it. And from lack of anything to do, he too simply fell asleep.

…………….

When he opened his eyes, he was not in the same place he fell asleep at, and it was the fresh smell and sound of running water that he heard and sure enough, there was a river running right in front of him, and he didn't think he had heard anything so relieving in a long while.

He was propped up against a tree, Muraki's jacket still wrapped around his body. The thought of Muraki carrying him around while he was unconscious was a thought better let to ponder about later. He grunted, fiercely determined to move, and slowly, surprisingly, he did, inching up slowly. He used the tree to help pull himself up, and once he did, he gripped it hard, feeling his legs wobble unsteadily, but, he realized, he felt stronger than he had in a long time.

It took a few minutes for his kegs to stop shaking, and another few for him to be sure that he would be able to stay up. His trek to the river was not an easy one, but Hisoka refused to give up.

The large rocks running along the river gave him a bit of trouble, but his patience won out and he prevailed. He sunk down gratefully, cupping water in his hands and brining it to his mouth to take a long thirty drink.

When satisfied, he looked around, not spotting Muraki or anyone else for that matter and he debated this for a long moment, his hands hesitating on his sweater. His want for cleanliness won out over his reservations.

He pulled the sweater off and hesitated even longer to even look at his pants. His fingers idly caressed the button and he looked around, stalling for as long as possible to make sure no one was around.

Finally, after closing his eyes as if it hurt, he stripped himself completely and walked into the river, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, teeth chattering as goose bumps appeared.

The water was very cold, but only slightly bearable. Tsuzuki would scold him for doing this….

His eyes dropped to stare at the cold water. He wanted Tsuzuki's warmth, and security so desperately, felt something inside of himself screaming for it. He had gone too long without love and care and when he finally had it and was slowly getting used to it, it was snatched away.

It hurt. His self-hug was no longer because of the cold, but because of the aching loneliness inside. Clenching his teeth, he abruptly dunked himself, wanting the biting cold to take this pain away and replace it with another. He was used to pain, no matter what form it took, and in what essence.

He stayed under until his chest ached with agony and he surfaced, hurting even more as he gasped deeply. He scrubbed himself and hurriedly climbed out to dress himself.

When he turned to return to the tree, he froze as mismatched eyes watched him in interest. Muraki was clean, and his jacket was once again an important part of his outfit.

Hisoka trembled. Had Muraki watched him bathe?

"H-how long were you there?" His voice quivered slightly, his heart pounding.

Muraki smiled. "Long enough." He answered and Hisoka knew that he must have been there the whole time.

His fists clenched, and he felt himself shake in anger. He didn't know what he could possibly say, or do for that matter. What could he do? Nothing he did could hurt Muraki.

The man seemed to know what he was thinking because his smile widened. "No need to be angry bouya. I only looked after you were dressed."

He was not sure whether to be relieved or not, so he simply ignored the teasing doctor and turned away.

The wind was blowing now, yet he felt nothing against his skin, the only sign of it happening was his hair blowing into his eyes. That was strange…….How could wind not be felt?

He looked back to see that Muraki had noticed as well, a small frown on his lips as his eyes narrowed. There was a moment of terrifying silence as the wind stopped and then there were screams, frightening high pitched wails of loss and agony and Hisoka's heart stopped, his face paling as bile gathered in the back of his throat.

He forcefully swallowed it down, his legs threatening to collapse as he stumbled over towards Muraki. He did not want to see what was causing those tormented wails of anguish, but if they could save them perhaps…..

He was slung onto Muraki's back as if he weighed nothing and he probably really didn't, and the man set off into a small jog. Hisoka knew that the man could careless about anyone. No, the man was merely curious.

The trees were starting to thicken, so it became especially hard to pass through easily. Hisoka was just opening his mouth to tell Muraki that he could walk when another batch of screams came and this time it was closer, and Hisoka felt as if his very heart had fallen dead from them, yet he could not die.

But there was something strange going on. He felt nothing, no emotions to go with the screams. There was nothing but silence in his head, as if it were hollow, and yet his ears still rung from the high pitched screams. It was like they weren't reaching his brain or his empathy. He knew not whether to be relieved or not.

The trees broke off abruptly and suddenly they were standing before a village. Everything stood still, and quiet, as if nothing was wrong. Muraki let him slide off his back, eyes narrowed as he pondered what exactly was wrong. From his doll's face, he could see that the boy was confused about something.

His eyes were wide, and he kept looking around as if looking for something.

"I can't feel anything." He whispered softly, and Muraki knew at once that the boy thought that it was Tsuzuki he was whispering to.

"There is no one here." He said, watching intently as Hisoka jumped, eyes widening even more before he looked away, trembling hands curling into fists.

"But the screams were coming from here, and-"He cut himself off as the screams started again, and this time, something happened.

It didn't come fast with any kind of real threat, but slowly, creeping upon the huts as if slowly devouring the poorly built structures. They were translucent, vague outlines of beings, their fingers curled as they climbed, as if searching for something, the act of digging there fingers into the straw roofs more desperate then it should be.

Watching them, Hisoka felt as if his heart were freezing, shivers racking his small form. His pulse slowed instead of speeding up. His body was numbing, and he could actually see his breath, small puffs of smoke coming from his mouth.

He couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight, horrifying, gruesome sight, a fear settling deep within him. And suddenly, their heads turned, and Hisoka screamed, clenching his eyes shut, but the image of them was burned into his head.

He heard a loud curse and then he was picked up.

………………………

Someone was stroking his hair. It was a strange, sensation, considering the last few days. At first, he thought perhaps it had all been a dream, but the images of those grotesque faces proved otherwise. He slowly blinked open his eyes, and stared wide eyed at the unfamiliar face right above his.

A smile curved humanoid lips. "Good. You're awake."

The voice was kind, and Hisoka could feel the amusement wafting from him.

"I'm Da'an, and who would you be?"


End file.
